Six Of The Most Practical & Impractical Science Fiction Weapons.

There are many weird & wondeful weapons from science fiction.

However not all of them would be practical to have on you in everyday life.

Thus I have highlighted 6 weapons which I feel showcase the most practical & most impractical of science fiction.

Please note all scores are out of ten.

Impractical:

Lightsabre (Star Wars) - There was no way I was not going to mention this. It has topped a poll to find the most popular movie weapon It is probably the most replicated sci-fi weapon on the playground, but

I don't think it's that practical.

Why? Because if you pulled it out then people would go nuts. You wouldn't be able to get at your foe from your crowd of admirers. Try chopping your opponent down then.

Legality - Only allowed to Jedi & Sith.

Coolness - 10

Effect - 10

Practicality - 5

Chem Sprayer (Command & Conquer: Renegade) – A tiberium powered weapon that sprayes toxic waste onto the victims either killing them or turning them a mutated monster that’s out for your life. Further spraying only enrages this monster. Ooopppssss there goes the practicality.

Legality – Illegal

Coolness – 8

Effect - 5

Practicality - 5

The Golden Gun (James Bond) – As featured in the 1974 film.

This is possibly the most impractical weapon on this list. Firstly it has to be assembled. Secondly it needs all the parts to make it work.

Let’s think about this. You need a cigarette lighter, a cigarette case, a cuff link & a pen. Can you imagine it that unless you are outside & you are fiddling with these things: “hang on a moment, damn it! Dropped the cufflink. Huh?” KERCHOOM! Aye some amazing assassin you are dude.

Legality - Uknown

Coolness - 7

Effect - 10

Practicality – 2

Practical:

Mandalorian Armour (Star War Universe) Before all the pish associated with the Clone Wars & jango Fett, Boba Fett was undoubtedly one of the most mysterious & collest characters in Star Wars.

His armour has it all, jump pack? Check. Grappling Line? Check. Secondary Weapons System? Check. Flamethrower? Check.

The only downside is that the police will probably stop you several times. But at least you can get away from them & rabid fans using the jump pack!

Legality – Unknown

Coolness – 9

Effect – 10

Practicality - 8

Power Sword (Many Factions Warhammer 40,000) - Mainly asscociated with Space Marine & Imperial Guard Officers, the power sword is the standard armour ignoring melee weapon that has no assault cost to the user.

With the fact it is a sword & combined with it's blue "disruptive field" means it will look good scabbarded or in one's hand.

Legality - Only for conscripted officers.

Coolness - 8

Effect - 10

Practicality - 8

The Bowel Disruptor (Transmetropolitan) - It's non-lethal, it fits in your pocket & what's more when you use it your enemy will shit themselves silly! Hooray everyone wins.

Legality - Illegal.

Coolness - 10

Effect - 10

Practicality - 10

Top 20 Best Lines From The Dawn Of War Series

If you haven't played any of the Dawn Of War Series then I recommend you do.

As soon as possible.

Because they are brilliant.

However there will be a review of the games at some point in the future, but for now I am going to share with you what I consider to be the best quotes uttered by the Units.

I have split them down into the best 10 quotes based on the 2 Factions I play the most. – Orks, & Imperial Guard.



Orks:

1 - “’Ere ta fix yer gubbinz! Heh heh heh heh” – Big Mek upon being built.
The Big Mek, a unit I had previously ignored in the table top game, really comes into his own in Dawn Of War. It’s the leery nature of this quote that cracks me up every time.

2 - "Orks, Orks, Orks, Orks! Orks, Orks, Orks, Orks!" – Slugga Boyz on the move. There something indelibly cool about the sluggas singing a one word song when they go off to, in general, kick something’s head in.

3 - "It's gonna hurt a lot, but you'll be better! You'll see! Ha ha ha!" – Mad Dok in many cases. The Mad Dok has always been a favourite of mine, it’s made even better in the game as you can practically hear the rolling eyeballs.

4 - "I'z dead 'ard and ready for stompin'!" - Killa Kanz on being made. Simple & true, the Kanz takes an absolute shed load of damage. And stomps very well.

5 - "Dis tank makes da loudest boom!" Sure looted tanks, don’t quite work as well, as they are a bit too generic, but the loudest boom in the Ork army? Easily.

6 - "Wot? I wasn't listenin'!" – Mega Armoured Nobz on being given a command. They are big, hard, can kick most races close combat units out the park & look damn cool.

7 - "I KNEW today wuz gonna be special!" – Flash Gitz when shooting. One of the units that has made the transition to pixels the best, Flash Gitz can out shoot most squads without heavy weapons. Stick 2 mobs of these boys with a Big Mek in one & Mad Dok in the other & no one is getting into your base without heavy weapons or vehicles.

8 - "Ahahahaha! Don't hold on to dat end of it!" – Tankbustas firing. They’re talking about grenades. Need I say more.

9 - "Let's jump over 'um!" – Stormboyz using a speed boost. Orks + rockets strapped to their back = some bloody cool visuals.

10 -"Doze otha' boyz thinks they're betta t'an us! Get 'em!" – Slugga boyz rallying. This one exemplifies the Ork strategy best. When in doubt stick the boot in!

Imperial Guard:

1 - (mock-weakly)"Thought they broke our backs...? Ha!” – Guardsmen on rallying. For a bunch of guys with what amounts to torches, the Guardsmen are a plucky bunch & nothing says it better than this.

2 - "Space Marines...this'll be ugly" – One sighting the Space Marines who are the enemy. Hulking genetically modified 9 foot tall warriors versus 6 foot average Joes with flak armour? Course it’s going to be ugly, hell you can even hear the wince.

3 - "Remember, lads! Just like we did on Ceprus Prime!" – Kasrkin shooting. I have no idea what happened on Ceprus Prime, but the idea that the spread their enemies insides over the entire map pleases me.

4 - "They'll pay for that humiliation... I demand satisfaction!" – Kasrkin rallying. The are elite troops so of course they aren’t gonna say “you’re gonna pay for that” but demanding satisfaction? That’s cool.

5 - "Spit in their faces!" – Priests in combat. Priests cab kick arse. Simple as.

6 - "Let's bloody the treads!"- Leman Russ Tank on being given an attack command. Bad assery from a tank? Say it isn’t so! Just a shame you can’t actually run people over.

7 - "Orks, I thought I smelt something." – Ork’s being sighted. Rififng on the usual perception that Orks smell, it’s the dripping disdain in the Guardsmen’s voice that rules.

8 - "Who's dying now?" – Baneblade after destroying a large amount of enemies. Take a shed load of troops. Fling them at the Baneblade, watch as they are all slaughtered. Who’s dying now?

9 - "Rip them apart!!" – Basilisk firing an Earthshaker Shell. I never liked Basilisks, then I took a gamble on them to take out an Ork base from a distance. I haven’t looked back since. Especially when three Earthshaker shells smack into a HQ building. Satisfaction? Indeed.

10 - "I will have someone's head for this!" – The Commissar on being broken. – It the righteous indignation that gets me. Like somehow despite everything that has happened it isn’t his fault.

The First List - 6 Of my Firsts

No before you get all het up this is not a list of things like the first girl I kissed, my first memory, the first time I got my heart broken, yak yak yak yak . . . puke.

Not it's a list of my geek related firsts.

6. First TV series I bought on DVD

"The Prisoner - The Complete Series"

This was in july 2006 after watching some of BBC4's "My Sci-Fi Life" Sci-fi summer, I had seen Many Happy Returns

Enthralled, inspired by this episode I resolved to track down this series with the utmost expediency.

About 1 week later I was in Virgin Megastore (as it was back then) for the princely sum of £20.

I then rushed home to watch it & was not disappointed. (well tell a lie but that was more the continuity crashing).

Since then I have been a Prisoner fanatic. I own the comic books, books of the series, a village map & a "few" other things.

5. First Movie DVD I bought.

"Transfomers - The Movie"

I first saw this film at the tender age of 10 & having been a Transformers fan for years before hand I am unashamed to say that I snapped this up the first opportunity I could.

This was also a Virgin MegaStore purchase though I paid the princely sum of £2.99 for it.

That said it is the Vanillaest disc that I have. Well had until I gave it to someone for a birthday present.

I later went on to buy a better edition. But that only included a wee bit from a TV program.

But it's better than a disc with no scene selection.

4. First comic I bought first hand.

Justice Society Of America Vol.3 Issue 1.

The latest in the imcomparable relaunch of the Justice Society by Geoff Johns & Dale Eaglesham.

I was of course particularly excited by the inclusion of Alex Ross whose art graced the cover. I feel his character designs are amazing.

Particular for me was the redesign of Sand as he has for a long time been a favourite of mine despite seeming to skulk in the shadows & having rarely been a front runner.

I love how his mask is more Sandman than his previous outfit.

P.S. For those of you who don't know, first hand comics are comics you buy on their release from the retailer. A large part of my collection is second comics (though a large perecentage of them are Near Mint quality)

3. First Toy I Bought

I have no idea which toy I bought first but the one I succinctly remember buying was the Aquanaut "Sea Sprint 9"

I rushed home with this only to be dissappointed that it wasn't water tight. Disappointed didn't cover it.

Also have you any idea how difficult it is to dry out a Lego part with a cotton towel?

4. 1st Game I bought

It was that fighting classic from the NES that I never completed. . . . . . .

No not Metroid! DOUBLE DRAGON!!!!!

This was undoubtedly "my game".

That is I played it the most, I was the best at it & Doug never played it.

Or if he did he wasn't as good as me.

That screenshot is from the first level ladies and gentlemen. The easy level.

Shortly before you lose the will to live on the third level with it's guys that are hard as nails. Even button bashing wouldn't save you.

Believe me I tried. Sooo many times.

5. First Sci-fi related memory.

Simple one.

Watching Real Ghostbusters in my pyjamas on a (I think) Saturday morning.

Pure bliss.

Have a nice day folks!

SDOG

The First Post

"And lo God said "Do not keep council with yourself my son with regards to the BBC screwing up potential classics, crapola edition DVD releases & other such sundry"

Then Adam, sorry Gordon decided to create his blog.

There will be several entries:

• There will be nearly daily lists. Either swindled from other websites, "inspired" or self created. These will do what they say on the tin. I.E. Be a list of stuff. with a point. Or not.
• There will be TV reviews. I will review any new TV shows that I have watched.
• There will be DVD reviews. These will review the DVDs I have & those that I get.
• There will be the TV diary. The TV I watch on DVD will be reviewed & rated.

There might be other things but to be honest I cannae think on anything right away

Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Film Review

4 Years ago a rather good (if slightly pan handled) comic book adaptation was released.

Whilst it did not too shabbily at the box office, it didn't set the box office on fire & thus Sony Studios decided not too make a sequel.

Then along cam a film direct by a guy called Guillermo del Toro which everyone rather loved.


Then the studio remembered he wanted to direct a sequel to that comic book adaptation.

But believing it not to be profitable the rights to the franchise (Dirty Word! Dirty Word!) were sold to a studio who rather liked monsters

The director was given a free reign to do whatever he wanted to do.

Thus we get to 2 weeks ago & I had joined the queue at my local Cineworld to see a preview screening of Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Being a Hellboy fan a had of course picked up tickets for it.

Rather than a bland review saying what was good & bad, I am however going to hand out some awards and then a wee conclusion & percentage rating (Beware there may be spoilers [Depending on what you class as a spoiler])

First up:


I Wish He Was My Dad Award.


Professor Bruttenholm not only fights monsters & protects the world from paranormal evils (which is coolness enough), he not only has time to read his boy a bedtime story, he reads him a bedtime story that is a real fairy tale. How cool is that!



I Want One Of Those Award. (Tied)


The Goggles used to track down the Scottish granny troll. They look good, they are functional & what's more they make you really see fairies!

Tied with that is the Golden Army itself. It's an amazing creation, they are stunning & what's more when they get busted up they pull themselves back together! Genius!



The All Is Forgiven Award.


Seth McFarlane. Come back. I forgive you for the fact that Family Guy has run on for too long. I forgive you for all the unfunny Family Guy scripts. I fogive you for not putting it to bed.


One second of your performance as Johann Krauss made me love you again.




The I Wish I Could Do That Award


Johann Krauss' ability to take control of mechanical devices using his ectoplasm. Possibly the coolest executed idea in recent memory. It looks cool & is used to comedic & dramatic purposes without ever seeming gimmicky or deus ex machina esque.



Fight Of The Century Award


Between the B.P.R.D. & the titular Golden Army. Wow. Just Wow.

The effects are amazing & you are never indoubt as to what's going on or where things are in relation to one & another. It also has some pretty cool bits like Hellboy going to town with an arm like it's a bit of 2 by four.


Exit Stage Right Award

Agent Myers. You were nice in the original film, but honestly we didn't really need you. So it's not that we hate but that we are sure you will enjoy the Arctic.


Best Realised Characters Award

Stuff The Dark Knight, sure it was epic, but the best realised comic book characters who have made the transition to screen un scathed have to be the B.P.R.D.

None of them feel like cliches or stereotypes, every part of them from the actors chosen, to the costumes to the nuances in the performance.

Ron Perlman IS Hellboy.

Selma Blair IS Liz Sherman

Doug Jones IS Abe Sapien.

They seem like perfect fits for the comic characters.

In Short

This is a brilliant film, it may not "adult" or "grim & gritty" enough for some people but HellBoy II hits all the right notes & you leave the cinema with a sense of wonder. Probably also wishing it was real. Possibly.

Rating: 92/100